either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i out mim tonsoeep
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