You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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