She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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