4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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