covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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