I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
