she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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