The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
