Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
