So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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