No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
