There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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