come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
