I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
