You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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