Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
