well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
