i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
