Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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