ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
