your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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