The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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