and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
