Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Randomize
