I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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