literally had 100 drinks last night.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
