omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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