Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
