Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So many bounce houses so little time
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
