I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Randomize
