You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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