hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
