no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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