I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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