I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
