we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
