weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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