Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm like, not good at living.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
