How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have aggressive nipples.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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