How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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