butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
