get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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