Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
