i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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