It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
