There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
