I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
