maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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