She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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