im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
