hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
