What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
