I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
