so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
