Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize