She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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