I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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