so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I believe in your delicious
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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