A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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