I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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