The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
