i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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