Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
