She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
